Through A Glass Darkly
by Revvie-S
Summary: Sam loses her memory after she is captured and lost to her team. What happened while she was missing? Who can she trust? Can the SGC trust Sam? Sam Jack pairing.
1. Chapter 1

_P90-780: Rahad_

Colonel O'Neill subtly stretched his legs out from under him, needing to restore the circulation before they went completely numb. Would Daniel just finish up already? The avid archeologist and diplomat had been conversing in a broken form of English with these people for over an hour. What more could they possibly have to talk about?

An unintentionally loud sigh escaped O'Neill's lips. Daniel stopped his conversation for a second and looked at the Colonel with a questioning expression.

"Need a break, Jack?" He knew the older man well.

"Good idea, Daniel." There was just a touch of blame in his reply.

Daniel murmured some more to the three elders sitting around him and stood. The way the younger man stretched, Jack could tell his muscles were complaining too. Daniel walked over to Jack and exited the ornate tent with him, both of them breathing deeply as they went out into the clear sunlight and cool breeze. Rahad really was a beautiful world.

Teal'C stood impassively a few yards away, on watch while Daniel and Jack had conducted the meeting with the locals. He walked over and joined them.

"All is quiet here. What have you learned?" Teal'C reported.

"There's an interesting, but fairly primitive culture on this planet," Daniel answered. "I'd like to talk with the elders some more-"

"Naturally," Jack muttered.

"But I think we will recommend that an archeological research team should follow up here. No reason for us to stay."

"How long, Daniel?" Jack pleaded.

"A few more hours?" Daniel offered. Jack and Teal'C nodded, and Teal'C turned to resume his watch duty.

A commotion just down the road in the sprawling tent village caught their attention before they could go back into the negotiations tent. A group of villagers approached the newcomers. An older woman stepped out from their midst, eyeing them curiously.

"Greetings, travellers," she spoke with a strong voice. "I would speak to you."

Daniel stepped up, being the most familiar with the customs of this people.

"Then speak, friend. What do you wish to tell us?"

The woman broke into a hurried explanation in a broken English dialect that only Daniel seemed to understand with ease. Jack swallowed his frustration and waited. Finally, she finished and Daniel turned to Jack. The archeologist had a strange light of excitement and hope in his eyes.

"She says there is a traveler in this village. A woman. She came through the Stargate many weeks ago and she was dressed the same as we are. She wishes to know if we are this woman's people, but the traveler is not well. She seems to have no memory of her past. She has not been able to tell the villagers who she is or where she is from. They're afraid to turn her over to us for fear of acting against the traveler's wishes."

Jack's heart and mind were suddenly racing. Could they have finally found her?

"Daniel? Do you think?"

"It's certainly possible. But if she doesn't know who she is, she may not recognize us either. And I wouldn't blame them for not letting us take her. For all they know, she came here because she ran away from us."

"First things first. Let's see who the woman is."

Daniel turned back to the group and asked them if they could see this traveler. He soon turned back to O'Neill.

"They are concerned about violating the traveler's trust in them. She will let one of us go, but only to test if the traveler recognizes us. Jack, you should go," they both knew he'd be the one, "but she wants to blindfold you."

"Okay," he agreed readily, but with a sinking heart. How would she recognize him if she didn't know who she was herself? Jack could only hope that, if it was her, she would somehow remember his face and his voice.

The villagers led him down into the heart of their noisy, bustling hamlet and sat him on a wooden stool, where no time was lost in wrapping a strip of cloth around his eyes. Daniel and Teal'C had stationed themselves further back as instructed, but kept wary eyes fastened on the center of the little town.

Like the hush before the first act of a play, Jack knew instantly when the woman approached. It seemed as if the whole village was holding their breath as she drew near the blindfolded officer. Her soft footfalls were only just discernible to his ears. Jack felt frozen in anticipation of the moment. Finally her tentative voice broke the silence.

"Jack?"

"Sam!"

He felt her fingers quickly removing the blindfold, and then they were both staring at each other, feasting on the sight of a treasured friend whom neither one had expected to see again.

"My name is Sam?" She asked uncertainly.

"Yes," Jack said slowly, waiting for her to come closer, watching her tentative, nervous motions as she circled his seated position. Her hair was long now, unkempt but still beautiful. She seemed thinner and her eyes were like hungry saucers as she gazed on him. There was confusion and pain radiating out of their depths. He'd found her at last, but he could see that things were far from normal.

"You remember me?" Jack ventured, trying to get her to talk more.

"I see your face in my dreams. I know your name." She seemed anxious now, as if she wasn't sure if he were friend or foe.

"Well. You're Samantha Carter. Major Samantha Carter. We, aahh, work together, at least we did, before you were lost on a mission. We're friends. Really good friends. You know me and...and I know you..." Jack stumbled to a halt and cleared his throat roughly. Where was Daniel and his gift of gab when he needed him?

"Your voice," she said next, with a tiny smile just beginning to develop. She walked up to him and put her hands on his face, staring at him with unguarded affection until he couldn't stop himself. He stood up and crushed her to him, surprised by the tears suddenly overpowering him and running down his cheeks.

"You do remember me," he cried into her shoulder.

His words could never have bridged the gap that his actions did. She knew now, in spite of the lack of specific memories, that this man knew her, had missed her greatly, and meant her no harm. It was obvious to her woman's heart that he loved her, even though he'd called them friends. Sam pulled back, more confident now, and pointed up the hill.

"Who are they?"

Jack hurriedly wiped a hand over his face and broke into a smile. "C'mon, I'll introduce you. Reintroduce. Whatever. They're your friends too."

Jack grabbed her hand and pulled her along with him. The villagers crowded around them now, smiling and murmuring with excitement and happiness for their strange, mysterious companion of the last several weeks. Following them back up the path to where Danel and Teal'C were, the locals waited with joyous anticipation to see the woman greet the others of her world.

She stopped short of actually touching them and looked at Daniel and Teal'C curiously.

"Sam!" Daniel greeted her with a huge grin. He held out his hands to her for a hug, waiting for her to decide whether to respond. She did, in slow motion. Inching her way towards him, she raised her hands and placed them in his, watching his eyes all the while.

"Dan-iel?" She said. "And Teal'C," she added, more confidently, now fixing her gaze on the big soldier at Daniel's side.

"That's right, Sam," Daniel answered. "Can I hug you?"

She nodded, and he did, Teal'C and Jack looking on with happy smiles. She hesitated again before releasing Daniel and hugging Teal'C. To Jack's surprise, she then turned and stepped back to his side, grasping his arm with one hand before turning to face her teammates. She seemed to feel safest with Jack, much to his satisfaction.

"It's strange," she volunteered. "I know you, but I don't know how or why I know you. I'm sorry. I can't remember much of anything."

"You don't know how you got to this planet?" Daniel asked.

"I remember coming through the Stargate from another place, a dark place. I think bad things happened there, but I don't know what. I just know that when I try to think about it, I feel afraid."

Jack pulled her closer. "Do you remember us working together at the SGC?"

"SGC...those letters seem familiar, I know I've heard them before, but..."

"It's okay. The important thing is we've got you back."

Jack couldn't help thinking back to the awful day he'd last seen Sam...

_The Goa'uld mothership was the objective. The Tok'Ra, along with some help from their Taur'i allies, were determined to capture it. But the plan had gone to pieces in the first few minutes after they had supposedly boarded the ship 'unseen.' They'd been detected almost immediately. _

_It was as if the Goa'uld had known they were coming._

"_Our only chance is to get to the hangar deck and try to escape in a Tel'Tac," The Tok'ra Aldrin proclaimed. "this way!"_

_They'd almost made it. But the huge bay doors had begun opening before they had planned on them doing so, and three of their retreating party had quickly jumped into anotherTel'Tac to prevent themselves from being swept out into the void of space._

_On board the first ship, the Tok'Ra swept around Colonel O'Neill, Teal'C, and Daniel to access the control console in their zeal to retrieve their missing comrades: two Tok'Ra and Sam. A fierce battle raged around the spaceships._

"_The Goa'uld have shot out our engines!" The secondTel'Tac reported._

_Jack's heart almost stopped._

"_Ring them over to this ship!" Teal'C bellowed. _

_The Tok'Ra nodded and immediately began attempting to do so. It necessitated the three missing soldiers getting into the escape pods. They could only be ringed to the other ship if they were clear of the first one._

"_Pods are clear..."_

"_Transporting one..."_

"_Transporting two..."_

_There was silence, then the ship shuddered under a direct hit from the mothership._

"_Giving up retrieval, going to cloak!" The Tok'Ra in charge announced._

"_Get that last pod!" Jack screamed._

"_Can't risk it, our shields won't hold up for another hit like that one."_

_The ship went into stealth mode and then almost immediately into hyperspace, under the able ministrations of the navigational officer._

_Jack, Daniel, and Teal'C all ran to the two pods and held their breath as the panels hissed open._

_The two rescued Tok'Ra got out, alive and unharmed._

_Jack fell to his knees in horror._

The Harad people were ecstatic at the happy turn of events and had insisted the team stay for a celebratory feast. Jack had readily agreed. It would be fun. He just needed to go to the Stargate and report the day's amazing events and that they were planning to stay longer. Jack turned to Sam.

"I have to call home," he explained to her, receiving an uncomprehending stare. "Do you want to come with me? There are some people who will be very glad to hear you are okay."

Sam hesitated. "Where must we go?"

"To the Stargate. The stone ring you came through when you arrived here. I can talk to them through the Gate."

She closed her eyes. The stone ring was a feature in her nightmares and she had avoided it at all cost since arriving on this planet.

"I am afraid."

"Sam, there's nothing to be afraid of. It opens a wormhole to other worlds, a way of traveling between worlds."

Jack stopped to listen in amazement to himself. Hecouldn't believe he was explaining this to her, of all people.

"I can control it. You will be safe."

Sam seemed to be considering what she should do.

"You can trust me," Jack urged.

Her face brightened at that. "I know." Her instincts had already told her that.

"Good. Ready to go?"

She nodded and followed the three soldiers, but remained a few steps behind them as they left the village and walked through the hill country that separated the town from the Gate. When Jack got to the DHD, he looked back to see Sam standing quite far behind, watching them fearfully.

"Now I'm gonna push the numbers for our world, Sam, and the stone ring will make a loud noise. Whoooosh," he demonstrated. "There's nothing to be afraid of, I promise."

She didn't look convinced, but she nodded in confirmation that she would stay.

"Daniel, dial Earth," Jack whispered. He didn't completely trust her ability to resist her fears.

As Daniel began punching the glyphs on the DHD panel, Jack made his way back to where Sam stood on the slight incline that overlooked the Stargate. He had just reached her when the Stargate exploded into activity and Sam jumped and began trembling.

"It's okay," he reassured her, careful not to touch her yet. He wanted to let her know that it was her choice to stay. "Now we'll talk to the SGC, remember I told you about them? We'll tell them we found you, okay?" Jack was holding his breath.

"O-okay." Sam steeled herself and took one step towards the Gate before freezing up again. Jack offered his hand to her.

Grabbing it with a surprisingly strong grip, she allowed Jack to lead her down to the DHD where a MALP had since materialized. Jack leaned into the camera.

"Hey, General," he smiled.

"Good to hear from you, O'Neill. How's everything going?" General Hammond's voice was slightly familiar to Sam and she relaxed and stepped forward into view.

"Major Carter!" she heard the General exclaim.

"Yes," she answered.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," she replied. There was no 'sir' on the end of her sentences, a fact not yet registering on the elated Hammond on the other end of the wormhole.

"Sir, permission to stay an extra night. The natives are throwing a party for Carter."

"Permission reluctantly granted, Colonel. But then I want you four home to explain to me how this all came about. This is truly cause for celebration. Welcome back, Sam!"

"Thank you," she replied, again uncharacteristically short and emotionless. The wormhole cut off. Jack found himself once again feeling protective towards his newly discovered teammate and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"Tonight we'll stay here, but tomorrow, Sam, you're going home."

There was no answer from the blonde woman as he followed her back to the only place that she currently identified as home, the dusty Rahadian village.

TBC

_A/N: This is a variation on a favorite theme of mine, ie., one of the team (usually Sam) gets lost during a mission gone south and then reunited with SG1 some time later, but with issues to work out. I hope it's not too overdone for you to enjoy!_


	2. Sam's Nightmare Revealed

"_Tonight we'll stay here, but tomorrow, Sam, you're going home."_

_There was no answer from the blonde woman as he followed her back to the only place that she currently identified as home, the dusty Rahadian village._

True to their word, the people of the tiny hamlet turned the entire town into an all out party that evening. It was clear from the first beat of the irresistible rhythm of their drums that these folks knew how to celebrate. Jack got the feeling that they had just been looking for an excuse to haul out their punch and cookies and crank up the music.

The planet orbited a double star system, making their sunset an incredible, otherworldly event. Separated by about an hour, the two suns went down below the horizon in a blaze of pulsating colors the likes of which the Earthlings had never seen.

During the slow sunset, the village was transformed into what resembled an outdoor nightclub, complete with a clearing and bonfire in the middle to serve as a dance floor. Mouthwatering smells filled the air as a makeshift banquet table was laden with food and libations.

Sam, who had been helping with the preparations, came out of a large tent dressed in native costume, carrying a platter of fruit and cakes which she added to the repast already on the table. Jack came up and quickly nabbed a piece of cake.

"Is this safe?" He asked her, holding it before him.

Sam looked confused. "Of course. It's very good."

Jack blinked in surprise. He'd been expecting her to laugh at his thinly veiled referral to an earlier mission where eating the local cake had led to his being seduced and then married to the woman who had fed him the cake. He had momentarily forgotten that she didn't remember.

He made a show of popping the cake morsel into his mouth whole and chewing with gusto. "Mmmmmm," he approved. Now she did laugh.

"The Guyandohla will be out soon. Save room." Sam reproved him.

"The who?" Jack asked, intrigued.

"It is the main dish, soon to be served. A fierce, fat animal with big teeth lives in the forests here. A Guyandohla. One chased me all the way from the ruins back to the village two days ago. Two hunters killed it and tonight we feast."

Jack watched her thoughtfully as she explained. She sounded like a stranger just now and it caused a pang of sorrow to shoot through him.

"A Guyandohla, huh?" He echoed, forcing a weak smile onto his face.

"Yes. Delicious," Sam enthused. "I must go help some more," she added.

"No, Kestra, you stay and talk to your friend," a high, melodious voice directed behind them. Turning, Jack found himself face to face with a beautiful black haired, black eyed woman, about Sam's age, also dressed in the flowery local fashion.

"Greetings," she answered his questioning gaze. "Kestra must get to know her people. Stay." The woman left as quickly as she had come, leaving Sam and Jack alone.

"Kestra?" Jack asked Sam as the woman disappeared from view.

"It is what I am called. It is from the old language of Rahad. It means 'wanderer'."

"What do you want me to call you?" Jack asked.

"I like Sam. I remember being named Sam as soon as you called me that today. I just wish I could remember...being... Sam."

A loud group of men on the makeshift dance floor caught their attention, and the two friends walked to the edge of the clearing and sat down to see what was going on. Teal'C was in the center of the villagers with his staff weapon sporting an uncharacteristically gleeful smile on his lips. The men gave him some room as he demonstrated several graceful fighting maneuvers. A clamor arose when he paused. They all wanted a chance to imitate the new techniques.

Jack's eyebrows rose high when he heard Teal'C laughing loudly and then observed him take a long swig from a brown earthenware flask on the ground near him.

"What is Teal'C drinking?" Jack wondered out loud. Sam giggled, a sound that Jack realized he had missed greatly. He smiled at her.

"What?" he asked.

"I believe he is drinking the juice of a fruit called guevna. It is very enjoyable to drink."

"Why's that?" Jack pressed, amused.

"As you see. It causes those who drink it to behave wildly."

"Yes...actually, we have similar drinks on Earth," Jack remarked wryly.

Teal'C reclaimed his weapon and the crowd fell back. Now Teal'C was on one side of the clearing and a young man, very muscular and as tall as the Jaffa, stood at the other, holding a stout tree branch.

"Oh, here we go," Jack moaned. He moved forward to get a better view.

The two lost no time in initiating the mock battle by clashing staff to branch in the middle of the circle with a resounding crack. Soon they were hard at it, jumping and swerving out of each other's line of fire while doing their best to inflict damage of their own. It didn't take long for Teal'C to snap the tree branch in half and bring his challenger to his knees. The crowd roared appreciatively.

"Another challenger!" Teal'C roared, slightly inebriated. Daniel came up to Jack.

"I thought Jaffa couldn't get drunk," Daniel commented.

"Apparently they can, once they are on tretonin and no longer have symbiotes," Jack replied.

"Are you going to do something about this?" Daniel prodded.

"Why don't you?" Neither of them wanted to get on Teal'C's bad side right now.

"Because you're in charge, that's why," Daniel pushed back.

With a groan, Jack pushed his way into the circle to face his tipsy coworker.

"Okay, Teal'C, stand down. Let someone else have the floor," Jack suggested, using his best 'colonel' voice. Teal'C wavered for a long minute. Jack held his breath, not sure what to expect from a drunken Jaffa. Finally, Teal'C shakily dropped one end of the staff weapon to the ground while still holding the other end close to his side. The appreciative onlookers cheered the warrior as he meekly followed Jack out of the ring and sat down on the periphery of the clearing with his teammates.

"I have a headache," he announced in a surprised tone, putting his head in his hands and closing his eyes.

"Here, big guy," Daniel offered, throwing his backpack to Teal'C. The Jaffa slipped his head onto the pack and closed his eyes. The noise from the merrymaking was all around them.

"This will go on for most of the night," Sam predicted. "The villagers love a good party." She watched the activity calmly, enjoying the constant beat of the music and the wild dancing around the bonfire.

"Sam," Jack asked. "What do you remember about what happened to you? Before you came to Rahad? Anything at all."

"Nothing, not really," Sam answered thoughtfully. "Images, sounds, darkness... but nothing I can put into words. Just enough to make me realize that there was something else before this. But my first real memories are of this place right here, and of these people."

"How did you know my name?"

"When I saw you, your name just popped into my head. Same as when I saw Daniel and Teal'C. I know that I know you, or rather, knew you. But I can't remember anything about my life before. Tell me about it, please," she added eagerly.

"Don't you think it would be better to let it come back on its own?" Jack asked uncertainly. "Come home with us. Maybe seeing your real home, your friends, and other things you were familiar with will help bring back all those lost memories. And maybe that will help you remember what happened to you."

"I'll think about it."

"Think about it?" Jack hadn't even considered the possibility that she might not want to go back.

"This is all I know," Sam cried, beginning to get agitated. "What if I never remember? I don't know if I could handle that. This..." she gestured around her. "This is simple. This, I know something about. I'm happy here."

She stood with her arms clasped around herself protectively. "I'm tired," she said sadly. Sam walked away without a backwards glance. Jack squeezed his eyes shut in frustration. They'd found Sam. Would they now lose her again?

_A woman with glowing eyes, dressed in a preposterously ornate outfit, approached Sam where she lay chained to a cold table. Sam knew this was bad, but couldn't remember why. She struggled madly to get away from the woman to no avail._

"_Do not fight, female, or it will only go worse for you," the evil woman sneered at her. She raised a glowing hand over her forehead and a beam of white-hot pain poured into her mind. Sam screamed and struggled but could not escape the liquid fire that was slowly obliterating who she was._

_The scene changed. Sam was in complete darkness, confined in all directions. A hissing sound filled her ears painfully. Light stabbed her eyes. The enclosed container she was lying in began to open and hope filled her. Jack would be there, she knew; he was supposed to have transported her and the others to safety._

_Horror and fear flooded her when she saw who had opened her escape pod._

_Again the images morphed, and now she was following behind the same evil woman with the glowing eyes. She was carrying something. Looking down, Sam screamed. She was carrying a container of writhing symbiotes._

Sam's own scream woke her, and she bolted from her bed, unable to sit still. Her head hurt badly. It took her a minute to figure out where she was, and then she ran from her tent. She jogged through the now silent village in the pre-dawn light, looking for the three visitors, trying to remember where they had been housed. Finding the correct tent, she cautiously opened the flap and slipped inside the entryway.

She sighed in relief when she saw her three teammates sleeping peacefully in the tent in various poses of collapse. Jack was on the right side of the tent, and it was to him she now went quietly. Sam sat down by his side and watched him sleep for a bit, drawing security from the sight. When she was ready, she reached out and laid a hand on his chest.

"Jack," Sam whispered.

Jack's eyes opened immediately and he took in Sam's disheveled appearance and red-rimmed eyes, still wet with tears.

"What? What is it? You okay?" Jack's eyes were dark with concern and he shimmied back so he could sit up and face her. His hands found their way to her shoulders.

"I had a dream," she whispered.

"Let's get out of here," Jack suggested, nodding towards the others who still slept.

They walked outside and headed down the path that led out of the village towards the Stargate.

"Tell me, Sam," Jack prompted as soon as they were out of the tent.

"I dreamed about a woman, with glowing eyes," Sam started, looking at Jack to see if he thought her crazy.

"That would be a Goa'uld," he confirmed. "Our enemies. We believe they captured you."

"Oh." After a minute, she went on.

"The.. Goa'uld... held her hand over me, and burned me with something she was holding until I fell. After that everything got dark. The dream was a memory, wasn't it?"

"Hand device," Jack commented. "And, yes, my guess is your memories of your captivity are beginning to surface." He glanced at her in sympathy as they slowly walked on.

"Then the dream changed. I was in a dark, enclosed space. And I was thinking about you. I could see your face in my mind. I was waiting for you to get me out of that dark place. But it wasn't you. It was the Goa'uld."

Jack stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. "You're right, it was supposed to have been me. And Daniel, and Teal'C. I'm so sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" Sam asked.

"We should have stayed and rescued you, but instead we left you behind. And the Goa'uld picked up your pod instead."

Sam's eyes hardened in dismay. "Why did you do that?"

"I wasn't in charge of the ship, Sam. The leader of the ship ordered a retreat. I'm sorry. I tried to make him stay until we got the last pod, but he wouldn't put us in further danger. We'd already retrieved two of the three escape pods. I hoped I would find you in one of the two we had saved. But you weren't there." His face clouded at the memory.

"There's more of the dream, but I don't know what it means. I was following the woman around, carrying a bucket full of water with snakelike things swimming around in it. I screamed when I saw what I was carrying, and then I woke up."

A sudden pain flashed in her head. Sam turned to a flat rock on the side of the path and sat down, exhausted from the recounting of her dream. Jack stood in front of her, watching her with leery eyes. Sam suddenly felt fearfully cold inside and turned away from his piercing stare.

The next thing she felt was Jack's firm grip on one of her upper arms and the fingers of his other hand probing the back of her neck, looking for something.

"What?"

"Look, Sam, you seem normal to me, but I have no way of knowing if you've been compromised by a Goa'uld. There's no entry marks back here, but symbiotes can enter through the back of the throat, leaving no visible mark. I need to have Frasier check you out back at the SGC. We should get home as soon as possible."

Sam began to shiver.

Jack keyed his radio.

"Daniel, Teal'C," he called.

"Daniel here," came the sleepy response.

"Meet me at the Stargate as soon as you and Teal'C can get packed up. We're going home and we're taking Carter with us."

"Got it Jack."

Jack looked back at Sam as he ended the communication with Daniel.

"Trust me on this, Sam. If, after a few days or a week or so, you want to come back to Rahad, I'll bring you back myself. Promise. But I think you need to come home, at least for a while."

"I do trust you, Jack," she responded. There was a quality, a personal innuendo, in her voice that Jack had never heard directed at him before. Perhaps it was because she didn't remember what it meant to be in the military, under a chain of command.

This was going to be interesting.

Hammond ordered a security team to the Gateroom to prepare for the return of SG1 along with their newly rescued team member. Jack had reported in a few minutes before and told Hammond he wasn't sure if Carter was a security risk or not, and that she needed to be scanned for possible parasites. Hammond was ready in case she turned hostile.

But she didn't. Stepping through the Gate moments after Daniel and Teal'C, Sam walked down the ramp in front of O'Neill, looking around her with frightened eyes. She stopped and waited for Jack to draw up even with her when she saw the SFs with guns pointed in her direction. She grabbed his arm and tried to step behind him.

"It's okay, they won't shoot. It's just a precaution," Jack encouraged her. "Now let's go see Janet in the infirmary, okay?"

Sam nodded. Hammond cocked his head at the two as they were leaving the Gate room. As they walked, Sam's hand remained wrapped protectively around Jack's forearm.

"That's different," he murmured to himself.

"Sam!" Janet's joyous voice rang out across the infirmary when she caught sight of her friend. She ran up to hug her, but Jack stopped her with an upheld hand.

"Give her some time, Janet. She has amnesia or something."

Sam was staring at Janet anxiously. It seemed as if she was trying to remember her, but not coming up with anyting. The doctor stopped and breathed in deeply, then motioned to a gurney.

"Okay... sit down, Sam, and let me check you out. Make sure you're well after ... whatever happened."

Sam complied, still watching Janet suspiciously. Jack backed off to the door but didn't leave, knowing that right now he was the only familiar thing in the room as far as Sam was concerned.

Janet checked over all the familiar entry points that a symbiote could have used, peering down Sam's throat for an extra long period of time. Finally she straightened up.

"I think we should get a CAT scan, just to be sure," Janet reported. "There is a small scar on the back of the throat, although that could be residual scarring from Jolinar. I need to check."

Janet motioned for Sam to get off the gurney and walk across the room to the huge CAT scan machine located in an adjoining room. Just as they reached the door, Sam turned and tried to bolt from the infirmary. Jack caught her and grabbed her arms. She jerked her head back and her eyes fastened on his.

They flashed in the Goa'uld glow so familiar to the employees of the SGC.

"Let me go! Let me go!" Not-Sam screamed wildly in a chilling alien voice, but she couldn't free her hands from Jack's viselike grip.

"A mature snake would have thrown me across the room," Jack panted. "This one must not be fully mature. Janet! Get Teal'C and Hammond down here, now."

He wrestled Sam to the scanning bed, but by the time he was fastening the restraints on her, she had stopped fighting him and was sobbing in fear.

"What happened? What was that?" she cried. It was Sam again.

"I don't know, but we're going to get that thing out of you and find out what it's done to you, Sam. Okay?"

Jack felt like crying himself. Bad memories of watching Kawalsky die and then almost losing his second to Jolinar resurfaced.

"Okay," she shivered. "Trust you, trust you," he heard her chanting to herself quietly, her eyes squeezed tightly closed. Tears leaked out of the crinkled corners of her eyes. There was no danger in touching her now, he reasoned, with the restraints in place and her apparently in control again instead of the snake. He reached out to wipe the tears from her cheeks.

Janet came up behind him and injected a sedative into Sam's shoulder. The distraught woman stopped thrashing almost immediately and drifted off to sleep.

"That should hold her until we can get in touch with the Tok'Ra to help us kill that snake."

Jack looked down at Janet, not surprised to see she was crying a little, too.

And no wonder. Her best friend had reappeared after being missing in action for almost two months and been revealed to be infested with a Goa'uld, all in the space of a few minutes. Jack hugged her in an automatic attempt to supply some comfort and she hugged back, undone by the shocking events of the last few minutes. A few moments was all they needed to recover themselves. They stepped apart and looked back at their friend, now unconscious on the bed, buckled down hand and foot.

They had to get that thing out of her.

TBC


	3. Dad To The Rescue

The SGC briefing room, filled with personnel who each seemed to have their own theory on Sam's situation, was the last place Jack O'Neill wanted to be right now. All he could think about was Sam, alone, confused and afraid, several floors above them. As soon as General Hammond opened his mouth to utter the word, 'Dismissed', Jack anticipated him and was out the door, on his way to Detention Cell 4.

The SF on guard duty outside her cell unlocked the outer door to the room where Sam was being detained. Jack walked in and gazed at her through the bars.

"Hey," he greeted her kindly.

She looked up from her huddled position on the narrow cot, but then looked away almost immediately, frowning.

"C'mon, Sam. This isn't your fault. Talk to me?"

She sighed and turned towards him with misery written all over her face.

"How are you?" He asked lamely.

"My head aches. I can feel its presence, trying to take over my mind," she whispered. "Before, on the planet, I didn't even know it was there. I'm scared."

"We have contacted the Tok'Ra. They are a race of beings similar to the Goa'uld, but they're good guys. They can get it out of your head without harming you in the process."

"How soon?" Sam demanded crossly. She had endured about as much as she could take.

"Your father will arrive shortly."

"My father?"

"Sam, your father became a Tok'Ra several years ago. It's a long story, but the result is that the Tok'Ra are allies of Earth, and your Dad is the liaison between the two races. When he heard you'd been found, and that you have been compromised, he went to collect the equipment needed to help you. Your Dad won't waste any time getting here to help."

Sam stood and walked over to the bars and pressed her face between them. Jack watched, his heart aching for her, as she reached out a hand to him.

"Sam, I- I can't touch you, you know," Jack explained clumsily.

Her carefully maintained control broke and she bit back a deep, forlorn sob. Turning, she went back to lay on the cot and curled up in a ball.

"Go away."

"Sam, please," Jack pleaded. Receiving no response, Jack nodded to himself.

"Right." He blew out a loud breath and reluctantly left her to brood on her own.

Jacob arrived less than an hour later, visibly excited and agitated. Jack and George were there to greet him and escort him to see Sam.

"Jacob, she doesn't remember much of anything," Jack warned him as they walked in long strides down the corridors. "You should be prepared for that."

"Got it," Jacob said distractedly.

"Here we are," Hammond announced. The SF granted them entrance and then they were looking at Sam in her cell, staring at them through malevolent eyes.

"Sam, I'm so glad you're alive," Jacob cried out upon seeing his daughter.

"The human was weak," came the hissed response. Jacob pulled up short.

Jack felt a stab of fierce regret. During the time he'd left her alone, Sam appeared to have lost her fight of dominance over the symbiote. And she'd been alone. He could only guess how frightening that had been for her.

"Then, the sooner we get this show on the road, the better," Jacob retorted fiercely.

"I will kill the human if you try to kill me," the snake in Sam's head snarled through her vocal chords.

Jacob was ignoring the evil being, and was already setting up a curious device in the corner of the outer cell.

"Okay, bring her here," he commanded.

"SF's," O'Neill ordered to the guards outside. One of them opened the cell, and Jack and another SF went in, grabbing Sam by either arm and dragged her out, barely able to control the writhing, kicking, screaming woman.

"Don't hurt her," Jack said over and over through clenched teeth. Janet had arrived right on time, having been called to the scene by General Hammond. She injected Sam with a sedative. It slowed her down but didn't put her under.

"The Goa'uld is getting stronger," Janet observed.

"You will all die," Sam growled.

"Let's do it," Hammond ordered.

Jacob fastened a huge metal collar on the back of Sam's neck. The collar was attached to wires that ran down to a control console that Jacob began to dial. The humming noise that at once commenced grew louder as the seconds passed. Sam screamed, and her eyes closed.

"Okay, this part isn't pretty," Jacob warned. He reached into her mouth with a metal device. After a few more seconds of adjusting the machine's output, he slowly retracted a slimy dead Goa'uld from Sam's throat. The symbiote was small and obviously not fully grown. Janet offered a container at this point, into which Jacob stuffed the dead snake. It was rushed off for immediate analysis.

Sam remained unconscious as Jacob healed the back of her throat with a laser healing device. He sat back, finally finished, appearing to be unsure of the outcome.

"Jacob?" Jack questioned him.

"All we can do is wait. I have no way of knowing if the Goa'uld injected its poison into her before I killed it."

"Get her to the infirmary," Janet commanded the two orderlies who flanked her with a stretcher. Sam was carefully placed on the gurney and covered with a warm blanket before they took her away. Jack followed them.

"Colonel, I assume you'll be in the infirmary if I need you, and you too, Jacob?" Hammond guessed.

"Yes, sir."

"Right, George."

Jack and Jacob sat on either side of Sam's bed, watching for signs of consciousness, for the better part of the afternoon. While they waited, Jack filled Jacob in on how they had found Sam and their subsequent discovery that her memory was all but erased. Jacob seemed lost in thought when Jack's story came to a close.

"The Goa'uld might have been repressing her memories," Jacob speculated. "Or, her captors may have permanently erased her memory. They have that capability. But, right now, the bigger question is if she's been poisoned or not. She still might not survive." His voice cracked.

"She'll survive," Jack countered in a rough tone. "She has to."

Jacob actually smiled at that in spite of the gravity of the situation.

Jacob stood up and stretched. "You and I should get something to eat. C'mon, Jack."

"Yeah, I guess so," Jack agreed, although he moved with reluctance away from Sam's bedside. They walked stiffly to the commissary. Both were surprised to find it was late, and dinner was being put away.

"Hold up there," the two men cried to the cook. Both filled their plates and grabbed coffee and desserts, planning on eating enough to make up for the two meals or more they'd each missed during the crisis with Sam. Soon both were chowing down.

"Jacob, you gonna eat that baked potato?"

"Yes," Jacob barked defensively. "You should have got your own baked potato."

"You took the last one," Jack pointed out.

Jacob rolled his eyes and sliced the potato in half. "Here," he offered.

Jack grinned. "Yes," he breathed, devouring the vegetable. "Nothing much hurts your appetite, ay?" Jacob asked drily.

"Yours either," Jack mumbled through a mouthful of baked potato, gesturing at Jacob's mostly emtpy plate.

"General Carter, Colonel O'Neill," Janet's voice rang out as she entered the cafeteria and quickly came to their table.

"Sam's awake," she smiled eagerly. Both men jumped up and followed her to the infirmary, their food forgotten.

"Sam!" Jacob called happily as he and Jack crowded around her bed. She looked at him with confusion. She reached out for Jack and he slipped his hand into hers.

"Who are you?"

Jacob's face fell. "You still don't remember anything, do you?" he asked sadly. "I'm your Dad."

Jacob had to return to the Tok'Ra the next day. He was not a happy man, having to leave his only daughter in her present state. Jack and Hammond stood with him in the Gateroom as the wormhole engaged.

"I'll be back as soon as I can," Jacob promised. "Contact me if anything changes."

"We will, Jacob," George Hammond assured the distraught man. "She's in good hands," he added.

"I know. Be well." Jacob walked up the ramp and disappeared into its swirling patterns.

Jack arrived back at the infirmary in time to hear Sam arguing vehemently with Janet. He stepped through the door only to be accosted by both women, both eager for him to be on their side.

"Colonel, please tell your subordinate that she is not well enough to leave this facility. Please tell her that my decision is final and over rides all other decisions on this base in medical matters." Janet was hopping from one tiny foot to the other, eyes flashing crimson.

"Sam, she's right. Doc's word is final."

"Jack, you said if I decided to go back to Rahad you would take me back. Well, I want to go back. I don't know anyone here, I don't know where anything is, I even had to ask directions to the bathroom this morning! I want to go back. There's nothing wrong with me now, except for a bunch of missing memories that aren't ever coming back."

"Look, Sam, maybe your memories will come back with time. And you were unconscious just yesterday. The Doc's right. You need medical care for at least another day or two."

"Promise I can go back in a day or two."

"If you still want to return to Rahad, if and when Doctor Frasier clears you to go, I'll take you. I promise." He said the words with his mouth, but inside he was determined to convince her to stay. He wouldn't lose her twice.

"Now, Doc, can I take Carter for a walk around the base? I won't let her out of my sight."

"For what reason?" Janet demanded harshly. She was still fuming and Jack found it kind of cute.

"I thought maybe seeing something familiar would help spark her memory. It's worth a try, right?"

"I will reluctantly give you permission, but you have her back here in one hour, Colonel, you got that?" Jack tried not to laugh at Janet who was still breathing hard and furiously.

"Yes, sir," Jack quipped. He grabbed Sam's arm and hurried her out of the infirmary before Janet could change her mind.

"Oh, I can't stand that woman!" Sam exploded as soon as they had turned the corner down the hall.

"She's your best friend," Jack countered gently.

"Rhmmpph," Sam exclaimed incoherently. "So, where are we going?"

"Just come with me," he answered mysteriously. She followed him into a large room that smelled like food, and her stomach responded automatically with a loud growl. How long had it been since she'd eaten?

Jack had eaten not long before, so he set about getting a plate of food for Sam, complete with a cup of coffee and a heaping bowl of blue jello. Sam was looking at everything with the eyes of a wonderstruck child. They sat down together at a table on the side of the room. Jack carefully slid the tray on front of Sam.

"I'll eat this," she said, pointing at the meat and mashed potatoes. "But that blue stuff is all wrong. How can that even be real food?"

Jack laughed out loud with delight. "I'm betting it's your favorite thing on the tray," he challenged her. "Now, eat. And then, you have to try that blue stuff."

"Yuck."

Sam ate several bites of the main course and drank the water, sniffing at the coffee but declining to try it.

Jack handed her a spoon with a flourish.

"Blue stuff."

Sam squared her shoulders and took a very tiny amount on the spoon.

"Now Sam, you can't even taste that. Here."

Jack grabbed the spoon from her and was now holding a huge, wiggling blue mass of the substance on the spoon for her. Her eyes widened in horror, but she gamely bit into it. Her expression changed from disgust to tentative surprise to an eager look of greed.

"Gimme that spoon," she demanded sharply.

Jack had rarely enjoyed anything quite so much as the sight of Sam Carter discovering blue jello all over again.

_A/N: The next chapter will deal with the discovery that the symbiote removed from Carter is different. It will begin to explain how she lost her memories and whether there is anything that can be done about it. Once I finish writing it, that is._


	4. What Happened To Sam

_A/N: Sorry for the delayed update. To give you a brief overview: SG1, minus Sam, found an amnesiac Carter after she'd been missing for some time. She was taken back to the SGC, where it was discovered she had a Goa'uld in her. After this symbiote was successfully removed, Dr. Frasier learns some disturbing things about this new breed of symbiote..._

The next stop on Jack's tour of the base was Carter's lab. She walked to her lab table. Although most of the room was cleaned out, a few items she'd been investigating when she had been lost were still left there. She moved to a box holding several raw samples of minerals she'd been examining and lifted out the fragments one by one. Jack watched patiently.

"This is from...that planet with the bright pink trees... called..." Sam shut her eyes and tried to recall the name.

"You're right, it had pink trees, and I don't recall the planet's designation, either, if it makes you feel any better." Jack moved a couple steps closer, encouraged by what she had remembered.

"And this gadget was given to us by the, uh, the Asgard." She finally spit out triumphantly. "I've been trying to figure out how to make our own version for months now, haven't I?"

"I don't know, Sam, you'll have to ask your scientist buddies."

"Well, go get Dr. Lee. He'll tell you. He's the one who mapped out all the schematics for this thing."

"We'll ask him then." Jack was grinning. "What else looks familiar in here?"

Sam continued around the room, pointing and handling different objects and giving tidbits of information about each one. Her memory, at least here in her lab, was the best it had been since her return.

"Jack, I mean, sir, it's all starting to come back! I mean, there's still some pretty big gaps, but I'm remembering things now, really remembering them." Sam looked triumphant.

"Sir," Jack mumbled. He turned away for a minute. Until he'd heard the fateful word come from her mouth, he'd been unconsciously enjoying her lack of memory regarding the restrictions on their relationship. He'd felt guilty about not telling her, but doggone it, he liked the informality and easy warmth that had characterized their relationship while her memory was impaired.

Sam was not aware of his disappointment. Excited by the return of some of her memory, she was eagerly looking around the lab.

"There's not much research left in here, Major," a deep voice informed them from the doorway.

"Dr. Lee!" Sam smiled.

He smiled broadly at her acknowledgment of him. "I was told you had amnesia. Sounds like you're doing better. Congratulations, Major Carter. If you would like, I'll take you to the main science lab and you can see what we're working on right now."

Jack smiled at them both and patted Sam's shoulder.

"Could you escort the Major to my office when she's done, Dr. Lee?" he requested.

"Just a concession to Dr. Frasier," he explained when Dr. Lee looked curiously at him. "She's only allowed out of the infirmary if she has an escort."

Sam rolled her eyes.

"Will do, Colonel," the scientist answered.

Jack went back to the infirmary to tell Janet where he'd left Sam. He wasn't taking any chances on incensing the fiery Doctor again. Sure enough, when he walked in alone, she charged up to him with her lips set in a thin line.

"Wait, she's okay. She's with her geek friends in the main science lab. She's starting to remember stuff."

"Really?" Janet sounded surprised. "Well, the test results are back on the symbiote we removed from Major Carter, and it's pretty interesting. Let me show you the report."

He followed her into her cluttered office and sat down on a chair that rolled around, but he stopped his movement and remained still when Janet gave him a disciplinary glance.

"The Goa'uld who produced this symbiote has been involved in some pretty serious experimentation. This was a genetically engineered and enhanced symbiote. Our report indicates that this symbiote was bred not just to overpower the host, but to completely erase the host. This is a stronger, more potent Goa'uld, one that literally obliterates the host. Up until now, 'something of the host' survived, and after extraction, the host has been able to live a normal life, in those few cases where successful extractions have been performed. This is a much more dangerous form of Goa'uld, if there can be such a thing."

"Why then is Carter beginning to regain her memories?"

"First of all, you should know that I seriously doubt she will completely regain them, although I hope I'm wrong. For some reason, this symbiote was implanted into her at a much earlier age than usual. I would guess no more than three or four weeks after birth. I think the Goa'uld are trying to devise a way to bypass the need for Jaffa incubation. Fortunately for Sam, they weren't successful in her case. She was a test subject. Which means-"

"-there are probably a lot more humans out there, imprisoned and being used as test subjects."

"And, if the Goa'uld succeed, they are going to be able to claim hosts much more completely, wiping out the human host's brain completely, and without the middleman step of the Jaffa."

"Which means the Jaffa are going to be in danger."

"One way or another, yes, I believe so. The Goa'uld will either use them as hosts directly or kill them, would be my guess."

Jack fell silent, thinking.

"I guess the SGC should contact our allies, especially the Tok'Ra, and come up with a plan. I'm going to call a briefing on this. I'll contact you soon. Be ready to give this report."

Jack left, leaving Janet to prepare her report for the briefing. He went to the General's office immediately and told General Hammond about Janet's findings and got the briefing scheduled for later that afternoon.

"Now I'm going to the science lab to get Carter and tell her what Janet said," Jack informed Hammond. "She should hear it before the briefing."

"Agreed, Colonel. See you soon."

"Carter," Jack said. Sam looked up from the computer screen she'd been happily studying to see her commanding officer standing in the doorway, looking grim.

"Yes, sir."

"We need to talk."

"Okay," Sam replied. She got up and walked over to him, her face beginning to reflect the concern she saw in his. "What's the matter?"

"Not here," Jack cautioned, looking at the men and women in the lab, all watching the two officers.

"Okay," Sam repeated. She followed Jack out into the hallway and they began to walk with no particular destination in mind.

"Dr. Frasier has the results on the symbiote that was removed from your head, Sam, and the news isn't good. It looks like the Goa'uld you were captured by was experimenting on you, trying to develop a super-symbiote."

Sam smirked. "A super-symbiote?" She asked dubiously.

"Yeah, that's what we're calling it. The symbiote you were infested by was bred, genetically engineered, to be able to implant at an earlier age and to wipe out the host completely. Luckily, the symbiote wasn't strong enough to wipe you out."

"Not...completely." Sam looked anxious and worried.

"Right. But, the bad news is, Doc thinks some of the memory loss may be permanent."

"But what's more important is if that Goa'uld somewhere out there succeeds. The humans of the Galaxy will be in even more danger from the Goa'uld, if that's possible," Sam said.

"There's more. The Jaffa will no longer be needed as incubators. We don't know know what this means. Certainly, the Jaffa armies are valuable to the Goa'uld in their own rights. But it could mean the death of many Jaffa if they are no longer needed to incubate infant symbiotes."

"Don't go, Jack. I know you're getting ready to tell me you've planned a countermission. If you are taken by one of these symbiotes..."

"We haven't actually decided what to do yet. Hammond is contacting our allies right now. The problem is, we don't know where you came from. Finding this Goa'uld could be difficult. Sam, try to remember anything you can from your captivity." Jack stopped walking and turned to her with an intense gaze.

Sam met his eyes for a second and then looked away desperately.

"I know this is really important. But I can't remember anything about it. Nothing. I just remember waking up on the planet where you found me."

"What about memories that don't make sense, images, words, symbols? You've remembered a lot just in the past day or two. Try, please?"

"Okay, okay," Sam agreed, donning a look of concentration and trying to do what Jack was asking of her.

She was surprised to suddenly find herself surrounded by two strong arms that held her possessively. She automatically hugged back.

"What?" She asked.

"I just wanted you to know that whether or not you remember anything, anything at all, doesn't matter to me a bit. What matters is that you're here, and you're safe."

""I remember a table. I was lying on it." Sam volunteered. There was a far-away focus to her eyes. "And a symbol of a hand holding a crown."

"Good," Jack encouraged, only half-interested in what she was actually saying. He was taking full advantage of her distracted state and had still not let go of her.

"The Goa'uld said something." Sam continued.

"What?"

"I'm working on it." Sam wriggled out from his arms, much to Jack's disappointment, and began pacing the hall in an agitated state.

"Aaggh! It's important... he said...no she, it was a she... she said... Orban."

Jack was stunned. "Are you sure?"

"That's it. Orban," Sam confirmed.

Jack grew pale. "Then this could be really important. And really bad." He all but dragged her towards Hammond's office.


	5. Orban

_A/N: Thank you so much for your reviews! I am having a hard time getting updates out(real life) but I'll keep trying to make time to get this one finished. Thanks for reading and for being patient between chapters!_

Jack half-walked, half-jogged to Hammond's office and burst through the door, interrupting a conversation between the General and Walter Harriman, his aide. Sam was only a few paces behind. She had been hard pressed to keep up with her worried teammate, but curiosity made her follow after him.

"General," Jack panted, "we need to dial up Orban right now. Carter remembers... the Goa'uld said the name, 'Orban'... if the Goa'uld have invaded Orban, they would have met no resistance..."

"Colonel, slow down. Orban. Is that the planet where the children were used to store the collective knowledge of the culture or something? You took that little girl, what was her name?"

"Merrin." Jack looked away, not wanting to remind the General of his insubordination surrounding that event.

"Merrin, yes. The children had nanobytes in their blood..."

"Nanites, in their brains," Carter corrected. Jack shot her a surprised glance. That was the first real appearance of the 'old' Carter since her return. Little did he know it would be one of the only ones.

"Briefing Room, now," General Hammond directed. "Get the rest of SG1 and get Dr. Frasier up here on the double," he added, speaking to Walter.

"Yes, sir," Walter replied briskly.

Soon the briefing room was full and General Hammond turned to Colonel O'Neill.

"Now, tell me exactly what you suspect, Colonel," he ordered.

Jack cleared his throat and collected his thoughts. "Carter remembers the Goa'uld working on her, on a table. She remembers hearing the name, 'Orban.'"

"Orban- that's the planet with an advanced culture descended from a vanished and very mysterious civilization of South America, the Teotihuacan. That was a fascinating planet," Daniel gushed enthusiastically.

"Yes, Daniel. Well, this is the culture that gained knowledge by implanting nanites-" Jack looked to Carter for approval, "- into certain chosen children at birth. This allowed the children to learn at an accelerated rate. But it wasn't really the children learning- it was the nanites. The nanites were then extracted from these children and given out to the general population, leaving the children mentally like infants again. We changed this by introducing them to learning the traditional way. But the nanite technology must still be there, somewhere on that planet."

"I see where you're going," General Hammond agreed. "You think the Goa'uld, if they have discovered Orban and taken over this culture, are using the nanite technology in the development of this new symbiote?"

"There's one way to find out," Daniel chimed in. "Dial Orban."

"SG1, after we send a probe through to determine the safety of a mission to Orban, I want you to go to the planet and see what they can tell us about these new symbiotes, if anything."

"Does that include me?" Sam asked.

There was a strained silence in the room. In spite of the joy Sam's rescue had brought to everyone present, she had been off the team for a long time. She had been possessed by a Goa'uld symbiote. And she still remembered very little about her former life as a soldier with the SGC.

"Colonel O'Neill, I'll leave that up to you," General Hammond finally said. Jack immediately looked at Sam with the question in his eyes. Was she ready?

"I'd like to go. I'd like to go and try to find out what happened to me, and if it can be reversed."

"Then you'd better go find some gear. You're coming with SG1." Jack's face shone with nothing but pride and confidence, causing Sam's eyes to fill with grateful tears. He still believed in her, and it meant a lot. It meant everything.

The MALP pictures confirmed their worst fears. Orban had been attacked and appeared to be a burned out shell of a city from the images sent back through the probe. There was silence in the Gateroom as the devastated images became apparent to those watching. Jack turned away, remembering Merrin, the girl he had befriended. For a few days, he'd been a Dad again. Now, she was very likely dead. He swallowed hard and looked at Teal'C, whose brown eyes were swimming with tears. The big man was no doubt remembering the little boy he had become close to on Orban.

"You have a go," General Hammond announced solemnly. "Watch your backs, and godspeed, SG1."

The four reunited team members silently filed through the Gate and disappeared, one by one. The instantaneous change to the now ashen world of Orban took a moment to adjust to, but they were quickly on their way to the central part of the city, where they hoped to find evidence of what had happened.

"Do you remember any of this?" Jack asked Sam as they picked their way carefully along the rubble-filled streets.

"No, I don't," Sam admitted anxiously. "Tell me about it."

"This was one of my favorite worlds. There was a culture here that, at first, seemed upside down, I guess you'd call it. The kids were way smarter than the adults. Turned out they were using those nanothings to collect knowledge. The children's brains were 'harvested' leaving them without any memories."

"I thought you said it was one of your favorite worlds. That all sounds pretty grim."

"Well, we helped them change how they did things. They ended up being great folks. There ws a little girl..."

"Merrin? You mentioned her in the briefing."

"Yeah. Merrin." Jack fell silent, remembering the girl he had befriended in happier times.

"I'm-I'm sorry, Jack," Sam offered sympathetically. After some hesitation, Sam moved up behind him where he stood on the stone bridge overlooking the ruined city. She tentatively reached out a hand, placing it gently on his shoulder. She moved a step closer.

"I'm sorry too," Jack murmured. Sam seemed so different now that she retained only fleeting images of memories of how they had been before. She seemed softer, less of a soldier and more of a woman. It was harder than ever for him to resist opening up to this new Sam. He turned and put his arms around her, accepting her simple offer of comfort. She felt a shudder go through his body and he gripped her to him more tightly.

"What is it?"

"I just realized...here I am standing here with you. You, Sam. I thought I'd lost you, but here you are." Sam heard tears thickening his voice.

"Jack, tell me about..." Sam trailed off and looked away bashfully.

"What?" Jack held her so that she had to face him.

"I know we worked together. But I worked just as much with Daniel and Teal'C, too, didn't I? But with you...there's a closeness...you and I seem different..."

"Jack, Sam, come in," Daniel's voice interrupted them.

"Yes, Daniel," Jack responded, stepping back from Sam. She watched in dismay as the professional mask fell back into place over the vulnerable man she'd seen only a moment earlier.

"Teal'C and I are in the central Averium. It looks like you were right, Jack. The Goa'uld were after the Orbanian's nanite technology. We've found a plundered laboratory. And we've found some survivors."

Jack's eyes lit up. "Survivors! Great, that's great. We'll be right there, Daniel."

"Survivors, Sam. The Goa'uld didn't wipe them all out, after all. Maybe they'll have some answers for us. For you."

"Jack," Sam burst out, unable to help herself. Her eyes reflected a sad desperation.

"I promise," Jack turned and said to her in an intense tone, "I promise I'll answer your questions. We'll talk. Okay?"

She nodded.

"Now let's go meet those survivors."

They found the Orban laboratory in the center of town with Teal'C outside the building waiting for them to arrive. They followed him through a maze of hallways to a laboratory where Daniel was gathering data. Two young Orbanians were helping him read and interpret the notes and sketches he had found.

"Jack! Let me introduce you to Yuger and Ribol. They hid in the forests and survived the attack."

"How long ago was this attack?" Jack asked them.

"Over a revolution ago," one of them answered, referring to the amount of time it took for Orban to revolve around its star.

"About ten months," Daniel explained. "And there are other survivors, in the wilderness surrounding this city. These two are scouts, in the city to see if it is safe for their people to return yet."

"Carter, Daniel, find out what they know. T, let's go make a full report through the Stargate to Hammond."

Sam watched Jack and Teal'C head out of the door. Just as he stepped out, Jack turned and winked at her, so quickly she almost didn't see it. Cheered, she giggled under her breath and turned back to help Daniel. Daniel smiled too, but turned his head so neither Jack or Sam knew they had been observed.

SG1's report to the SGC set into motion a response so large and complex that it took weeks to get it operational. The plan was two-fold. First, they determined to locate and stop the Goa'uld who had stolen the Orbanian technology and thus prevent the development of the super-symbiotes. Then, along with their allies, Earth established a refugee assistance camp on Orban to help the survivors rebuild their lives.

The Tok'Ra took command of the search and destroy mission against the Goa'uld. They already had more intel than the SGC and had operatives in place. Hammond worked with them side by side.

The survivors of Orban were soon back in their city thanks to the efforts of SGC personnel in providing food, supplies and willing hands.

Meanwhile, Janet conducted her own investigation back in the SGC infirmary with the information Daniel gleaned from the Orbanian scientists. Unfortunately, the news she discovered confirmed her fears.

Memory loss due to the activity and subsequent removal of nanites (or, in Sam's case, destruction of nanites when the symbiote died) was irrepairable. The few memories Sam had managed to retain were those few that had escaped the harvesting nanites of the super-symbiote. She would not remember much else than what she had already recalled.

Janet dreaded having to tell Sam. She'd been so happy with each memory that she had been able to recall since her rescue. Janet decided to talk to Daniel about it first.

Arriving at Daniel's office, Janet watched him from the door for a few seconds, smiling indulgently at the ardent look on his face. Whatever he was studying, he was so intent upon it that he was oblivious to all else. She loved his passion for his work.

"Ahem," she cleared her throat delicately. Daniel's eyes shot to her face.

"Janet! I didn't hear you come in."

"Yes, I know." She came further into his office and settled herself across from him at the cluttered desk.

"What's the matter?"

"I just wanted to talk. About Sam," she added carefully. Daniel's eyes filled with compassion.

"What have you found out?" He asked, not sure he wanted to hear the answer.

"Her memories are gone. The nanites haven't just repressed them; they've removed them. Oh, Daniel, I dread telling her. She's so hopeful that she'll eventually get back to normal."

"Poor Sam," Daniel whispered, his face pale. "She's been through enough."

"What?"

Both Janet and Daniel whipped around to face Jack, who was standing casually in the doorway. He had evidently heard the tail end of their conversation, and Sam's name, and now wanted to know what was going on.

"Colonel, I was just telling Daniel I have information regarding Sam's remaining memory gaps, and it isn't good. I'm trying to figure out how to break it to her."

"She's not going to remember anything more?" Jack extrapolated.

"No. You know, maybe you should be the one to tell her. I'm not trying to get out of it, I promise, Colonel. I just think she'd receive it better if it came from you."

"I don't know what to say to her, Janet. This will end her career, both in the Air Force and in Astrophysics. At least for now. She'd have to relearn it all. She's not going to receive that well from anyone."

"Then I guess I'd better go get this over with," Janet said morosely.

"No. I'll tell her. I promised her we'd have a talk, anyway. This will just make it a...bigger...talk."

"Talk?" Daniel ears perked up. "About what?"

"None of your business," Jack retorted quickly, the tips of his ears coloring just a slight bit, not much, but enough to alert Daniel to the fact that he was sniffing down the right trail.

"Jack? About what?"

"About...she's noticed that she and I...are different than... like... you and her."

"You know, Colonel, as awful as all this is for Sam, this situation has one bright spot," Janet mused.

"I've thought about that," Jack cut her off. "Don't worry. I can handle this."

He left abruptly.

Daniel and Janet smiled widely at each other.

"Right," Daniel joked.


	6. The TALK

"_No. I'll tell her. I promised her we'd have a talk, anyway. This will just make it a...bigger...talk."_

"_Talk?" Daniel ears perked up. "About what?"_

"_None of your business," Jack retorted quickly, the tips of his ears coloring just a slight bit, not much, but enough to alert Daniel to the fact that he was sniffing down the right trail._

"_Jack? About what?"_

"_About...she's noticed that she and I...are different than... like... you and her."_

"_You know, Colonel, as awful as all this is for Sam, this situation has one bright spot," Janet mused._

"_I've thought about that," Jack cut her off. "Don't worry. I can handle this."_

_He left abruptly. _

_Daniel and Janet smiled widely at each other._

"_Right," Daniel joked._

* * *

Jack walked up to Sam's quarters three times and stood before her closed door each time, trying to force himself to knock. Finally, he managed to tap out a quick pattern on the wood. He was in the process of losing his resolve and fleeing the scene when the door opened. 

"Jack? Did you just knock?" Sam asked him curiously, observing his position five or six steps away.

"Yeah. I was wondering if...we...could...uh, have that talk. But if you're tired, no problem! I should let you rest."

"I'm not tired." She stepped into the hall. "Can we go up top? I haven't seen the outside world in a long time."

"Sure," Jack agreed readily. She hadn't had time or clearance to leave the mountain since her return, he suddenly realized. Of course she wanted to see Earth's sky again. She wanted to see the mountains. An idea popped into his head.

"How about if I take you somewhere? You'll like it."

Sam did like it. She loved it. They walked aimlessly around the beautiful Garden of the Gods Park soaking up the warm late afternoon sun and drinking cold soft drinks. Jack had remembered to bring their sunglasses and they were playing the role of tourist to the hilt. Sam was so happy she felt tears tickling her eyes.

"Yesterday, you asked me what's different about you and I, Sam. It's kind of a long story. We've never really talked about it, either, but you're right, you know. There's something special between us. And for me, there has been since the day we met."

"I could tell," Sam smiled happily. "If that's so, why haven't we ever talked about it?"

"Because of our working relationship. There are rules in the military about that sort of thing. A soldier can't afford to treat one soldier as more important than another in the field. But even though we both knew that, and practiced it, it wasn't easy for me to remain objective around you. There was this one mission where we were forced to talk about our feelings for each other, because of a situation with some alien technology that I'm not sure I could explain to you. Anyway. The point is, it took me months to get over that."

"Yeah?" Sam looked pleased.

"Yeah," Jack affirmed. "Sam, what do you remember? About...us?"

"Nothing specific like that. But I have feelings when I'm around you. I feel safe, like I've known you forever. I know I can trust you, but I don't know exactly why. I miss you when we're not together. Sometimes, you'll say something and I will realize I was expecting you to say it. I know that I knowyou, I just can't explain it."

"I think I understand."

"I can't wait for the rest of my memories to come back, Jack, but in a way, I don't want to remember everything. I like what we have right now. There's no rules keeping us apart. Not that I think there's necessarily an 'us' just yet," Sam was quick to point out, not sure if she'd misread too much into his recently stated feelings for her.

A look of concern shadowed Jack's eyes. "Actually, Sam, that brings up the second thing we need to talk about. Janet thought I should be the one to tell you. About your memory."

Sam paled and sat down under a tree beside the path.

"Tell me," she commanded tensely. The apprehension on her features told him she was somewhat expecting what she was about to hear. He carefully explained what Janet had learned about the nanite technology from Orban.

"So, because the symbiote implanted in you took your knowledge with these nanites..." Jack struggled to remember everything Janet had said.

"...those memories are gone, destroyed when the symbiote was removed," Sam concluded. "And what I've remembered so far is probably all I'm going to have."

She shifted so she could look him in the eyes. "Jack, you have no idea how much I've lost," Sam confided. "In my lab, I can't make heads or tails out of papers I wrote last year. I had to get Dr. Lee to show me how to turn on the computer and get into my files. I see equations I obviously worked out and I have no idea what they're for. I'm useless to the SGC like this. I'm going to lose my job, aren't I? Actually, I don't have a job to lose- I'm completely unqualified for it. And now you say none of it is ever going to come back. What am I going to do?"

"I don't know what to tell you. But look, whatever happens, whatever you decide to do, know that I want to be here for you. I want there to be an 'us'. So don't go trying to figure everything out all alone."

"Was I that much of a loner before?" Sam asked.

"Let's just say, stubborn." Jack smiled at her affectionately.

"Well, don't worry. I can't do this alone. I don't know where to start, what to do first. Should I go back to school? Where do I live? Do I have friends, family I should contact and let know I'm alive? Tell me what to do."

"Well, first, come over here." Jack reached for her and pulled her into an embrace that told her all she needed to know about her and Jack.

"You were gone a long time. You don't have to do all those things at once. You have a house. But you can live on base for a while, if you're not comfortable with living on your own yet. I betcha Janet would be glad to put you up at her house, if you don't want to stay on base."

"I don't know—" Sam's only experiences with Janet, at least the ones she could remember, were not so great.

"And I think you should talk to Hammond first. I don't think you should just assume you've lost your job. Your experiences with this super-symbiote are going to be invaluable while we are fighting the Goa'uld. And you learn faster than anyone I know, Sam. You think on your feet. Regardless of what you can or can't remember, I'd rather have you on my team than anyone else I can think of."

"Thanks." Sam closed her eyes and sighed. "This is...overwhelming. I need some time to think"

Jack hurt for her as they sat there together, Sam curled in a defensive ball against his side, his arm draped protectively over her shoulders. It was getting dark now, and while the sunset was magnificent, its beauty was lost on the couple. For the hundredth time, Jack tried to imagine what it was like for Sam and was once again struck by the enormity of what she had lost. He resolved to see her through it no matter what. She needed him, it was that simple.

And the truth was, he needed her just as much. Those months without her had almost killed him. When she had been given up for dead, Jack had felt a part of him die too.

"It's getting late. Maybe we should get back."

"I'm hungry," Sam said in a surprised tone, as if she had just noticed.

"Hey, that's my line. Let's go to Bart's Diner."

"What's that?"

"Greasy hamburgers, soggy fries, milkshakes..."

"Does it have blue jello?" Sam asked hopefully. Jack shook his head with a chuckle.

"That's okay, I'm just hungry. Let's go."

"Sam," Jack ventured while they climbed into his truck and got on the road. "How would you like to go to a hockey game tomorrow night? With me?"

Sam smiled widely. "Are you asking me out?"

"Yeah."

"I'd love to. What's hockey?"

"What's hockey?" Jack repeated in a bellowing voice, pinning Sam with an outraged glare. "Now this is a memory we've got to replace as soon as possible."

"Do I like...hockey?"

"You love it," Jack smiled evilly. "You used to beg me to take you to hockey games. You knew all the players and you would make me tape the games for you..."

"I never liked hockey, did I?"

"Well, you could like it now, couldn't you?" Jack asked sheepishly.

"I'll go to the game. Then we'll see." Sam was laughing.

"Here's the restaurant. Come on, you'll like this."

"As much as I'll like hockey?"

"Smart mouth. Come on."

The diner was warm and smelled great. There were only a few customers at the counter, and Jack steered Sam to a cozy booth in the corner. Once they had placed their orders, Jack began to talk again. Now that they had started talking personally, he didn't want to allow the window to close back up.

"Sam, I know you're going to need time, and I don't want to create more problems for you right now. But I've waited- actually, I think we've both waited a long time for this. I don't want to screw this up, this, you know, thing..." Jack cleared his throat. Sam laughed at him struggling to express himself on a personal level. It made her feel good to know he was trying so hard in spite of himself.

"I know, Jack," she assured him, letting him off the hook. "Look, since I can't remember much anyway, this is a chance for us to start right from the beginning. For both of us to start over."

Jack grinned, his face reflecting pure delight. "That sounds like a great idea." He watched her eat, hardly able to believe his luck.

He was dating Samantha Carter.

_A/N: Next: Only a few more chapters, but we need to find out what happens with the allied effort to locate and destroy the Goa'uld super-symbiote technology. AND there needs to be **at least** one more fluff scene don't you think! I would also like to explore what Sam decides to do next but not sure what to do with that. Any plot bunnies out there? My weakest point seems to be ending stories (IMO). Thanks again, so much, for reading. You all have helped me develop my writing from the earliest stages, namely, being scared to death to let anyone read my stuff, to now where I am just loving it...and this is a good time to mention again how much I enjoy reading all your stories and how much I have learned from that too! _

_Stargate rocks!_

_Evvie_


	7. Sam Gets Creative

Jack's cell phone rang just as he placed a huge helping of macaroni in his mouth. It was 1600 hours, and a few minutes earlier Jack had been surrounded by personnel in his office when he'd suddenly jumped to his feet and announced his hunger. He'd practically run to the commissary. The people in his office had let him go without protest. Everyone knew better than to get between a hungry Jack O'Neill and his food.

"What?" He barked petulantly into the receiver, drawing alarmed looks from Daniel and Dr. Lee, his tablemates.

The Colonel's eyes softened and soon a smile formed on his lips as he listened to the caller.

"Sam," Daniel mouthed silently to Dr. Lee. They exchanged a knowing, superior glance.

"I'm glad you enjoyed the game. I told you that you liked hockey."

"Uh, huh," Jack burst into delighted laughter at whatever she had said, a sound so foreign for him that the two men at the table stared open-mouthed.

"You're watching reruns on television? Well, yeah, I realize they're not reruns for you….Okay, sure. See you soon."

"Right. Bye."

"What?" Jack was back in barking mode as he challenged the amusement drawn on the faces of his colleagues.

Daniel would have been even more amused if he could have witnessed the speed with which Jack finished his work and left the base. Before long he was at Sam's door.

"I'm almost ready," Sam informed him, pointing Jack towards the sofa while she ran back to finish getting ready for their evening at the movies. Jack obediently sat on her sofa to wait for her. After scanning the room around him, he picked up the huge tome he found overturned, open-faced, on the coffee table.

"The Essentials of Quantum Theory? Sam?"

"Oh," she called to him, "I'm just going through all the books here in my house. I'm learning so much. It's just so incredibly fascinating."

"I'm sure," Jack smirked.

"No, really. I can't stop reading that one, it's riveting."

"Riveting, huh? Same Carter I know and love. Let's go. I'll try not to keep you away from your riveting reading for too long."

Sam looked a bit sheepish as she followed Jack out to his car. As they drove, Sam looked over at Jack and began describing again what she was experiencing.

"You know, I'm learning an amazing amount from reading my old textbooks. It's weird. It's like I can almost remember it all, and when I read it, the subject matter comes back to me easily."

"Things have always come easily to you, Sam. You'll be back saving the world before you know it. Which reminds me. You need to learn how to handle weapons again. I've reserved us an hour at the shooting range for tomorrow afternoon. Teal'C wants to show you some Jaffa tricks with a zat and a staff, too. He and Daniel will meet us there."

Sam didn't respond directly to his invitation, but instead went on as if he hadn't spoken. "Hammond has assigned me a tutor. She's also a doctorate in astrophysics. And tomorrow morning I start weekly sessions with a psychiatrist who specializes in amnesia and brain damage patients. Dr. Frasier set that up for me."

Jack felt a twinge of sadness at the cold formal tone in Sam's voice when she mentioned Janet by title. He made a mental note to impress upon Sam what her friendship with Janet had once meant to her. But for now, he reached across the seat to give her knee an affectionate squeeze. He listened to her contentedly as she continued to talk. She was making great progress, and Jack couldn't have been happier for her.

"_Okay, Samantha, let's talk about strategies for relearning the subject matter you have lost. Your tutor reports that you are learning very quickly. However, there are techniques that I can help you with that will increase your ability to learn even more. Interested?"_

"_Of course."_

"_Great. We'll start this morning with cognitive stimulation exercises. These particular techniques will teach you to cultivate a photographic memory, if you do them right…"_

Hours later, Sam appeared in Jack's office doorway at the SGC looking exhausted.

"Sam! You okay?"

"Fine. I'm just tired. I feel like my brain's been squeezed dry. My psycho has given me some exercises to enhance my ability to acquire knowledge quickly."

"Your psycho?" Jack ribbed her.

"She's given me homework too. I have to find a creative hobby. Apparently, being creative stimulates the brain to learn more rapidly."

"So what are you going to do, creatively speaking?"

"Well, I've spent a lot of time since I got back watching reruns on television. The psycho was horrified at that at first. She said that is the exact opposite of being creative when it comes to the effect on the brain."

Jack ignored the last part of her comment. He watched a fair amount of television himself. This was a subject he could warm up to.

"What are your favorite shows?"

The whole idea of Sam Carter lazing in front of the TV intrigued Jack. He had never known the 'old' Sam to watch much television. Maybe he could even get her to watch the Simpsons with him.

"MacGyver, Magnum P.I., West Wing, Hunter…"

"Hunter? You mean that old cop show from the eighties?" Jack snorted with amusement.

Sam donned a defensive stance. "Well, it's not as old as MacGyver. Besides, a lot of those shows from the eighties are really good. Anyway, I really like Hunter. I'm even writing a fictional episode about it. My psycho said to be creative, and creative writing is as good a hobby as any, right?"

"Yeah, sounds good to me. And good for you. Sounds like you're doing great. Can I read it when you're finished writing?"

"I'm planning on posting it on the web, actually, I'll show you how to find the website…"

The alarms in the Gate Room went off at that point, causing Jack to jump up out of his chair and head past Sam, out of the door and up the stairs to the control room. Sam shadowed him, curious to see what was going on.

"Sir, we can't keep the iris closed. An incoming wormhole is repeatedly opening the iris in spite of our efforts to keep it closed and a radio signal coming through the wormhole is adversely affecting our defense systems."

"Why can't you just override?" Jack barked. Just then, General Hammond strode into the room, as alarmed as Jack appeared to be.

"Colonel, get down to the main circuit and prepare to cut power on my signal. Airman, get a scientist down here now who can override this iris program, now!"

"Uh, like who?"

Find someone!" Hammond yelled in his face.

"Let me try it, sir," Sam interrupted, already peering intently over the man's shoulder.

"Do it," Jack and Hammond agreed in unison.

Sam sat down and immediately began typing in commands, her eyes fiery and focused. All the people present in the room with her collectively held their breath. A few moments later, the iris closed and remained closed. Sam sat back, arms folded in victory, smiling broadly.

"Samantha Carter, it is great to have you back!" Hammond gushed. She stood proudly and relinquished the seat to its previous occupant, the now awed gate technician.

"It sure is," Jack seconded, squeezing Sam's shoulder.

"Briefing Room," Hammond ordered Jack and Sam. "Airman, find out where that wormhole originated. We need more information on what exactly we're dealing with here."

"Jack, Sam, this way."

As soon as the door to the briefing room closed behind them, Hammond confronted Sam, barely able to contain his excitement.

"Sam! You've regained your memory! How? I thought it was impossible!"

"No, sir, I didn't remember how to overwrite security safeguards…" Sam began.

"It's not her memory. She's relearning it all," Jack burst in.

"Jack's right. I read the section regarding iris subroutines just yesterday," Sam affirmed. "But I still have a lot to relearn."

"Well, how about you do it on the job? You've proven your value to the program over and over, Sam. We're better with you than without you, no matter what you still have to learn."

Sam smiled confidently.

"It works for me, sir. But to be honest, I can't yet reclaim all of my old job. I can't go through the relearning process and serve on SG1 at the same time. I just don't have enough time to serve on an off-world team while I'm working so hard to re-earn my doctorate. I want to come back, and I will, but with the SGC only. As a scientist, not a soldier."

Jack and General Hammond both stared at her as the truth of her words sunk in. Sam was letting them know she'd made a choice. She had weighed the possibilities and had chosen between serving on SG1 and regaining her scientific expertise. Her choice, at least for now, was Dr. Carter, not Major Carter.

"General."

Daniel appeared in the briefing room entranceway. "That was the Tok'Ra on long-range communications. They report that they have a lead on this Goa'uld who is experimenting with super-symbiotes. They want to send a delegation here to discuss a plan to take him out."

"Great. Arrange a meeting with their delegation as soon as possible, Daniel. We're going after this snakehead."

TBC

_A/N: Sorry it's been so long since the last update. I've been out of town and away from internet access. I'm determined to update more frequently now that I'm home again! If you haven't already, have fun reading Sam's story!_


	8. The Mission sets out

_A/N: _

_I realized as I was writing this that I am a bit out of cannon- the conversation between Sam and Jack about Pete takes place, on the actual show, in Season 7, after Jack becomes General and Sam is also promoted, to Lt. Colonel. So, please give me some artistic license if you would, and accept that for the purposes of this fic the promotions haven't happened yet, Hammond is still in charge, Janet is still alive (yay!) and Sam was engaged to Pete for a short while but broke the engagement off just before the mission where she was captured by the Goa'uld Damon. All of which, I guess, makes this an AU fic. Anyway if you're now confused, I apologize! It should become clear as you read this chapter. (I hope:))_

_By the way, I want to thank all of my reviewers VERY MUCH, and apologize for not thanking you each individually. RL has been demanding as of late. It adds so much to the fun of writing to read your input and comments and to know you are still out there with me. Thanks again! _

_Here's Chapter 8 now._

* * *

The mood in the conference was that of barely contained excitement, mixed with a healthy fear of what the band of allies was about to undertake. Jacob, as liaison to the SGC and Earth, had just sat down after outlining an ambitious plan to infiltrate the stronghold and laboratory of the Goa'uld Damon on a cold ice planet he had transformed into a secret base of operations. The Tok'Ra, after several weeks of careful detective work, now knew its location. They figured they knew more about it than even the Goa'uld system lords. 

"Thank you, Selmak, for your report. SG1, Colonel O'Neill, I want you ready to accompany the Tok'Ra to Damon's planet within the hour. Inform SG6 they will be accompanying you. Dismissed."

Hammond stood and looked at Jacob, waiting for the rest of the personnel in the room to leave before addressing him.

"Jacob, I think you're aware that your daughter has asked to be discharged from her duties as an officer with SG1. But the only one of my people who has been to this Goa'uld's hideout before is Sam. Any knowledge she has will be invaluable to this effort. Do you want me to have her accompany the mission?"

Jacob's face contorted in a grimace of concern as he considered the offer. Jacob hated to put his daughter in such a position; she'd been through enough. But Selmak was obstinately whispering in his mind, reminding him of just how important her presence on this mission might prove to be.

"If she has any memories at all of this Goa'uld and his work, then yes, we need her. But I don't want you to order her to go. I'll ask her, and leave the decision up to her."

'So if she says no, Selmak, you'll drop it, right?' Jacob asked the Tok'Ra mentally. He could have sworn the snake turned her back on him and sulked.

Jacob made his way past the locker room, where he could hear SG1 and SG6 getting ready for the very difficult mission ahead. He worked his way to where he knew he'd find his daughter, hunched over her lab table trying to pry open some alien doohickey. She straightened up as he entered the doorway.

"Dad!"

"Hi, Sam. How are you doing?"

"Pretty good." Her voice was cool and professional, and Jacob tried not to be hurt by the tone. Sam knew now that he was her father, but so many memories of their life were still missing that Sam had little attachment to him.

"Sam, I'm here to ask you something I want you to feel free to say no to. The mission to Damon's planet leaves within the hour. We will first go to the Tok'Ra base and outline the plan of attack. Then we will be heading out in three separate ships to the world Damon is hiding out on. Sam, do remember anything from your captivity?"

"I have...dreams, visions, flashbacks...whatever you want to call them. But they don't make much sense to me. I don't think I can tell you anything that will be of practical help."

"Not here, on Earth, no. But Selmak thinks if you were to return to that environment, some of your disjointed memories would make sense and be of help to the effort to bring down Damon."

Sam thought for a minute.

"Okay, I'll go get prepped to go."

"Whoa, Sam! That was too easy. I thought you had decided to quit the field unit part of your job. Don't say 'yes' just because you think it's what I want to hear."

"I'm not, Dad. Really. I made the decision to retire from the military and SG1 because I thought my efforts to reclaim my memories should be concentrated on my academics first. I am afraid of being a liability in the field, of costing someone else their life because I can't remember basic military protocol. Or how to get the safety off my gun, or something little that could become a big mistake. But if you think I can be of use to the effort to get this Goa'uld, I'm in."

"Just like that?" Jacob was smiling with pride at his fearless daughter.

"Just like that." Sam turned and walked out, turning right.

"Uh, Sam?"

"Yeah, Dad?"

"The locker room is that way."

"Right. I knew that." Sam pivoted and went the other way down the grey hall, grimacing with embarassment.

The expedition was underway within a couple of hours from the Tok'Ra base, comprised of a team of about 25 personnel, both Taur'i and Tok'Ra, spread out amongst three cloaked ships. Jack had made certain he was on board the same ship as Sam. He wanted to get a chance to talk with her privately, and the two-day journey through space to their destination would, he hoped, provide him an opportunity for such an encounter.

Once everything had settled down into a waiting pattern, Jack sought her out. He found her gazing out the aft observation window, watching the hyperspace patterns whiz by.

"I can't look at it too long," he commented. "Gives me a headache."

"It's a lot of visual information, too much for the brain to process," Sam returned, continuing to watch nevertheless.

"I'm kinda surprised you came with," Jack observed next, watching her patiently.

"Me too," Sam confessed. "I thought I'd given it up, SG1 and all, but as soon as Dad offered me a chance to come on a mission, I jumped at it. I guess I haven't quite given it up after all."

"I'm glad," Jack told her. "Hey, I read your story," he ventured. "I like how you write. But, I was wondering, where'd you come up with the dialogue between Hunter and McCall?"

"Which part?"

"The part where Hunter says, 'I wouldn't be here,'" and McCall says, "'What do you mean by that', and so on," Jack recited. He looked very uncomfortable. Sam turned her full attention on him.

"I just made it up," she said defensively.

Jack was quiet for a few moments, and looked as if he was debating with himself inwardly.

"No, you didn't," Jack finally answered hesitantly.

"What do you mean?"

"Well," Jack cleared his throat, "Uh, we, you and I, actually had a conversation a lot like that."

"When?" Sam asked incredulously, her cheeks and the tips of her ears beginning to turn pink.

"When you told me Pete had proposed, and you were trying to decide whether or not to accept him."

"Who's Pete?"

The irresistible temptation to paint the picture from his own feelings spilled over Jack. He mightily resisted the opportunity to give his version of who Pete was. Sam and Pete had been engaged for a while, but Sam had broken it off just before the fateful mission when she was captured and lost to them. Pete had never called again and probably to this day had no idea anything had even happened to Sam. His cold indifference towards Sam, once the engagement was officially ended, had turned Jack against him even more. Let's face it, Jack's disdain for Pete had been sealed since the day they had met at the stakeout in front of Daniel's house, and Jack had realized the jerk had tailed Sam to see what she was hiding from him.

When Sam had told Jack she'd broken off the engagement, Jack had had a hard time concealing his complete delight with the news. He'd actually dragged her down to the corner coffee shop for a huge piece of celebratory cake, outwardly claiming he was just hungry and needed some company.

"Uh, well, he was a cop that you were engaged to for a short while," Jack explained tersely, emphasizing the word 'short'.

"I was engaged?"

"Twice, actually."

"This is too weird. So where are this ex-fiancees of mine?"

"Oh, well, Jonas died on an SGC mission, and Pete, well, he kinda dropped out of your life after you broke up with him."

"Was I upset? About my fiancee dying I mean?" Sam looked completely lost as she relied on Jack's inadequate comments to help rebuild her past.

"Well, you weren't engaged to him at the time. He had kinda gone...crazy. He thought he was a god. It was on another planet. He tried to kill you, and me, and Daniel and Teal'C, and he did actually kill some other soldiers, and well, he fell into the Stargate and..."

"Okay, I get it, it's a long story," Sam stopped him. "So I wasn't upset?"

"You were, but not because you'd lost the love of your life or anything. It was just a tough thing to see happen, I think, watching someone you used to have feelings for get killed in front of you."

"Okay, okay," Sam countered, mentally trying to go back to the original conversation.

"So, this Pete guy asked me to marry him, and I came to you and you're saying we actually talked? You and me? About personal stuff? Back then when we were working together? About whether I should get engaged or not?"

"Hey, you started it," Jack pointed out defensively.

"So I said..." she prompted.

"that you always thought someday you'd actually have a life," Jack continued. "And I said, you know, it's possible to have a family and be a part of the SGC, other people have done it."

"And then I said..."

"Then you said something like, 'what about us'?"

"I did?" Sam was smiling now, remembering the conversation she'd written in her fanfiction between Hunter and McCall. Jack's memories were dovetailing a bit too closely with the so-called fictional story she'd so obliviously written.

"Yeah, and I said something stupid, like, "I wouldn't be here.'"

They were both quiet for a minute. Then Sam moved over to him and put her hand on his arm where he sat on the floor, leaning against the bulkhead.

"Jack. I've enjoyed spending time with you these past few weeks. The hockey game, the movies, eating out together, walking around, just being together. I like being with you, Jack. I like it a lot. I've depended on you a lot, too. You're my best friend. I guess I knew, on some level, that going back to SG1 would mean giving some of that up. I don't want to give it up. I guess I was writing from memories I can't consciously recall when I wrote that story. I really like the ending."

Jack laughed out loud. "Yeah, it's a great ending. Happily ever after and all that."

He turned to look at Sam.

"That isn't exactly where that conversation went in real life, though," Jack mused softly, looking at Sam with a hint of regret in his dark eyes.

The two fell silent, each cautiously studying the other's face.

"There you are," Daniel's voice startled them as he bounded through the slightly open door of the room they were sitting in. Sam and Jack both inwardly cursed his impeccable timing.

"Here we are," Jack agreed tiredly. "What's up?"

We're in cloaked orbit around the planet. We are being called to the rings for deployment to the planet's surface."

Jack turned back to Sam upon hearing her soft gasp at Daniel's proclamation.

"You still okay with this?" He asked as he stood up and clipped on his P90.

"As ready as I'll ever be," she answered tensely. "Let's go."

TBC


End file.
